12/01/2011 - I am frequently humored, and sometimes dismayed, by politically-correct holiday greetings. At the Injury Law Firm, we frequently analyze and interpret complex documents containing intricate and precise legal language. Thankfully, most holiday greetings are not written in "legalese," which is why this one that I saw online (author unknown), made me chuckle.
(click for larger version)
Before you read it, just let me say, "Merry Christmas!" My staff and I wish you joy, hope, peace, and blessings in the coming year.
From us ("the wishors") to you ("hereinafter called the wishee"):
Please accept without obligation, explicit or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of your choice, with respect for the traditions of others, or their choice not to practice holiday traditions.
Please also accept, under aforesaid waiver of obligation on your part, our best wishes for a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of this calendar year of the Common Era, but with due respect for the calendars of all cultures, and for the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting you acknowledge that:
• This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal at the wishor's discretion.
• This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.
• This greeting implies no warranty on the part of the wishors to fulfill these wishes, nor any ability of the wishors to do so, merely a beneficent hope on the part of the wishors that they in fact occur.
• This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishors.
• This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.
The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.
Any references in this greeting to "Saint Nicholas," "Jack Frost," reindeer, nutcrackers or snowmen with supernatural abilities, silver bells, sugar plums, elves, or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting. All proprietary rights in any referenced third-party names and images are hereby acknowledged.
The Law Offices of R. Michael Shickich, LLC
Nothing in this article should be construed as legal advice. You must consult with an attorney for the application of the law to your specific circumstances.
R. Michael Shickich is the founder of the Injury Law Firm located in Casper. The focus of his practice is personal injury and wrongful death cases.
The Wyoming State Bar does not certify any lawyer as a specialist or expert. Anyone considering a lawyer should independently investigate the lawyer's credentials and ability, and not rely upon advertisements or self-proclaimed expertise.