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Editorial

To Your Health


Are You Kidding Me?


10/01/2006 - One of my children (I am now threatened not to use names or genders for fear of reputations at stake) wanted a cup of hot chocolate one cold morning. I asked, "Why would you want to drink that junk on a school morning?" I was quickly reprimanded (Daaad!). It was drawn to my attention by my astute child that the chocolate mix label indicated that it "contains anti-oxidants", therefore justifying the need to consume the chemical mix to gain these valuable nutrients for the body and further gaining their trust on never eating anything devoid of nutritional value (smirk).

Well, I calmy held my surprise and asked to see the container for my enlightenment on such a new dietary find. Perusing the ingredients and nutritional facts, I quickly retorted (I would be accused of snorted, not retorted by this child) that if there were any anti-oxidants they would be insufficient for the free radicals the drink would generate in the body. To which the child responded, "Oh Daaad give it a rest!" (Sigh).



From the You've Got to be Kidding Me Dept.:

I was given a can of lemon-lime soda (we won't name the brand) one afternoon and to my astonishment the label said "Now 100% Natural". My first reaction was, "What are they trying to pull?" Then I thought (I'm being sarcastic here), "Maybe the folks at the unnamed company found an Artesian spring of carbonated water in Tibet. So mysterious is this carbonated water that it won't leach any minerals from your bones. Oh, and I mustn't forget the recent finding in the dark jungles of the Congo -- the discovery of a tree similar to our maple tree. When you tap into it, out comes natural high fructose corn syrup. Now we no longer have to worry about our livers and pancreas and, best of all, no obesity. Oh the possibilities, the possibilities -- NAH!"

I scrutinized the can. 100% Natural, huh? Well it says, "contains no juice". Where does this 100% natural flavor come from? Lemons and limes, right? No, it comes from natural citric acid (a chemical), natural flavors [a chemical, most likely MSG (YUCK)], natural Potassium Citrate (another chemical). So it is not 100% natural, but 100% natural chameicals.

I think the government should make them label the product with the consequences if you drink or eat it. "Here, Tommy, have a can of 'Sweet Chemicals'. It messes up your body and it will make you fat and unhealthy." Yeah, I know -- Until next time.

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